(i feel) incomplete

I have always liked sitting on the bus and watching the world pass me by like an old fashioned film strip. I like catching sight of my reflection while I listen to my music, shutting the most of the world out around me.

I miss my best friend, so, so much. I wish it never happened. It came at much too high a cost. My friends here now remind me of her, but it is not the same. No one can fill the gap.
I miss everything. I miss how we use to laugh and know exactly what each other were thinking. I miss the closeness and the comfortable silences. It is not every day you find someone like that. I miss how we knew each other, everything about each other. I miss the support and trying to support her even though I knew she was stronger than me. I miss having her around. I miss how fucking stupid we were. I miss the stupid jokes and how we would never miss a beat. We were always in sync and in time. I miss how we could bounce off each other. Someone once told me that we were a remarkable pair. I miss the time we would waste and the time spent and I hate the fact that I can’t tell her about my life now. I miss the shits and giggles. I miss all our favourite quotes and places.
I miss her so much. I miss how she was the opposite of me, but yet, exactly the same. I miss my best friend. I hate how time and our stupid selfish actions can change and destroy everything. I’m struggling here without her. I don’t feel special. I don’t feel complete.
Fuck, I wish you were here. I don’t think this feeling will ever go away. I miss you, so… so much.